Archive | January, 2014

You Will Never Want An Illegal Butt Injection After Watching ‘Buttloads Of Pain’ (NSFW).

19 Jan

Butt balloon with US boys

Butt balloon with US boys

In describing the differences between New Yorkers and Miamians, New Times’ Kyle Munzenreider points out that the Magic City is obsessed with an ample behind:

“The ideal body type for both sexes in NYC is gangly 14-year-old boy with toothpick legs and a lollipop head. Miami, meanwhile, is all about the meatier and the curvier, whether it be the booty in a lady’s Brazilian jeans or the biceps bulging from a dude’s tank top,” he wrote. “At least our unattainable body ideal is slightly healthier.”

But for an alarming number of curve-craving residents, Miami’s body ideal is anything but safe. Illegal butt injection procedures involving liquids like ”an oily yellow substance,” silicone, fix-a-flat and mineral oil – “$1.68 at the grocery store” according to one recipient — are not only becoming more commonplace but can actually start causing flesh to die after a few years in the body. Reports Vice Magazine’s Wilbert L. Cooper in “Buttloads of Pain”:

These procedures can trigger a strong autoimmune response as the body attempts to expel the foreign substance, resulting in inflammatory reactions such as polyps, boils, skin discoloration, and even necrosis. These substances have also been known to migrate through the body and fuse themselves to organs, or enter into the bloodstream, spreading infection throughout the body and causing septic shock—which can lead to the amputation of infected body parts or, in the worst cases, death.

Butt surgery for American girls

Butt surgery for American girls

Yikes. According to the Associated Press, deaths from illegal butt injections have also been reported in Alabama, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Nevada and New York.

But Miami, as bum-focused plastic surgeon Dr. Constantino Mendieta calls it, is “the heart of buttropolis.” Watch below as Mendieta, local strippers, a victim, and a man embroiled in the ”toxic tush” scandal reveal the methods behind the Miami market Vice warns may grow into “America’s next health epidemic” — but be warned: it’s definitely NSFW.

Butt surgery girls.

Butt surgery, girls with silicon butt

Butt surgery for American boys

Butt surgery for American boys

Butt failure

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Larry Esin Replies Thompson Essien: Mrs. Amawo Innocently Misquoted Me.

19 Jan

                                                    Written by Mr. Larry Esin
Ete Thompson,
Larry Esin

Larry Esin

Happy New Year and best wishes. Ete, this is Larry Esin, your friend; I hope you still consider me a friend. Because of my respect for you, I have chosen to write you this personal explanation vis – a – vis the controversy that has arisen over my interview with Mrs. Amawo last year.”

Ete, I assure you that I was misquoted, albeit innocently by Mrs. Amawo. I have known Mrs. Amawo from my days as National Chairman of the PPA, and I never doubted and still do not doubt her professional competency.
When Mrs. Amawo met me that morning of the interview, it was our first meeting in almost three years, and she came that morning not to interview me but to inform me of the birth of her first child after many years of marriage. It was a joyous occasion as you can imagine.
Mrs. Amawo, having spent the last two years as she put it, trying to track me down, decided to seize the opportunity that morning and secure an interview even though she was ill prepared. She did not even have a recorder with her. I pleaded unsuccessfully to reschedule, but Mrs. Amawo would have none of that. Such is the relationship I have with her. At the end, she decided to use the recorder of her small Nokia phone for the interview.
As you would imagine, the interview was interrupted frequently by incoming calls, and each time a call came through Mrs. Amawo had to apologize, pause, answer her call and reset the recorder to continue the interview. It was during one of such interruptions that I was explaining the reason and consequences of my late entry into the 2006/7 governorship race. I said then, that because I entered the race so late “I was accused of running to help my friend Akpabio “, because most people could not understand why anyone in “their right Mind” would enter such a contest barely 30 days to the elections.
I believe that during the recording, and Mrs. Amawo confessed that there were gaps in the recording due to the poor quality of the recording and the intermittent calls that came through during the interview. Unfortunately, I was out of the country in Asia (I flew out the same day of the interview) when Mrs. Amawo was transcribing and she could not reach me to fill in the gaps. She made an innocent but costly mistake in trying to fill in the gaps herself.
You may then want to know what I have done since the story broke. I did contact Mrs. Amawo to express my concern over the consequences of the misrepresentation. We also discussed a cause of action including a press/media statement on the issue. I decided to wait a bit on any cause of action because I did not want to heat up the already tense ethnic squabble in our State. In retrospect that may have been the wrong decision.
As one who seeks to govern Akwa Ibom, I am under no illusion that I will have 100% support of the electorate; neither will I be judged always by the content of my character or my commitment to the cause of a free and just Akwa Ibom, where we all will be treated as equals under the law. I lean my hopes therefore on God almighty who knows the content of each of our hearts and my commitment to the truth.
I would have felt better if all the outburst and attacks I have endured since the story broke had all to do with my capabilities or lack thereof and less to do with a friendship with a fellow Akwaibomites in 2006/7. I have not been part of the administration since its inception and cannot therefore take responsibility for its actions.
My response to Barrister Iyanam’s publication was to inform the world that the majority of us Akwa Ibom people are not ethnic minded, especially when it comes to our politics. I used my personal experience as an example, and the fact that Barrister Iyanam, an Oro man, will not vote for an Oro man simply because they share an ethnic identity.
Ete, you are a man of balanced thinking and void of sentiments, let your conscience guide you. My warm regards to your family Sir and best wishes for the New Year.
Larry Esin
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

Open letter to Basket Mouth by Citizen Evelyn.

13 Jan

Dear Bright Okpocha (aka Basket Mouth),I am a very good fan of your comedy show including my husband and kids, I would rather have spoken to you over the phone or make time to see you face to face, but as it is the season of open letter in Nigeria, I would like to use this medium to express how disappointed I am over your comment or joke as you may call it on “Rape”.

Basket Mouth

Basket Mouth

First let me try to educate you about the meaning of Rape, maybe you did not check your dictionary for the meaning or you don’t have one at home.

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another without any consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or against a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, or below the legal age of consent. The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.

Rape and sexual slavery are recognized as crimes against humanity and war crimes. Rape is also recognized as an element of the crime of genocide when committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a targeted ethnic group.

People who have been raped can be severely traumatized and may suffer from post traumatic stress disorder; in addition to psychological harm resulting from the act, rape may cause physical injury, or have additional effects on the victim, such as acquiring of a sexually transmitted infection or becoming pregnant. Furthermore, following a rape, a victim may face violence or threats thereof from the rapist, and, in some cultures, from the victim’s own family and relatives. More about rape and its effect of victims can be obtained for free from the Encyclopaedia.

Bright, let me ask you, have any of your relation been raped before? Have your blood sister or daughter been raped before? If the answer is yes, then how can you possibly make a joke about it. but if the answer is no, then you must be ashamed of yourself ….

Your lack of respect for women has manifested. When you first began to make jokes about Nigerian women we thought that it was to make people laugh, now you can be easily accused of making these jokes because you want to disrespect, humiliate and insult Nigerian women. Why should Nigerian women be painted black by a fellow Nigerian who they pay money to watch his show? These women who come to your shows are the people putting food on your table, the clothes you wear, pay your bills, fuel your car and you have the innuendo to rubbish them?

As a brand ambassador of some companies in Nigeria, you are supposed to be a role model for our children, but what are you teaching them, are you teaching them that rape is fun? you are telling them that any girl they want to have sex with and who says no should be raped? To the girls you are simply calling them sex toys that can be bought with money. By your joke you have reduced Nigerian women to zero. How will men from other countries see our women?Finally, I will advise you to always think about the consequence of what you open your mouth to joke about because that mouth that brought you fame and good things of life may still play a part in bringing you down.

Evelyn Ejiogu

Jonathan signs bill banning same sex marriage.

13 Jan

ABUJA (AFP) – Nigeria’s President Goodluck Jonathan has approved a bill banning gay marriage and same-sex partnerships that sparked international condemnation, his spokesman said on Monday.

Gay protest in Nigeria,

Gay protest in Nigeria,

“I can confirm that the president has signed the bill into law,” Goodluck Jonathan’s spokesman Reuben Abati told AFP, without specifying a date but adding that it happened earlier this month.Abati said Jonathan signed off on the Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill 2013 because it was consistent with the attitudes of most people towards homosexuality in the west African nation.

“More than 90 percent of Nigerians are opposed to same sex marriage. So, the law is in line with our cultural and religious beliefs as a people,” he added.“And I think that this law is made for a people and what (the) government has done is consistent with the preference of its environment.”Amnesty International urged Jonathan to reject the bill, calling it “discriminatory” and warning of “catastrophic” consequences for Nigeria’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

Under the terms of the law, anyone who enters into a same-sex marriage or civil union can be sentenced to 14 years in prison while any such partnerships entered into abroad are deemed “void”.It also warns that anyone who registers, operates or participates in gay clubs, societies and organisations or who directly or indirectly makes a public show of a same-sex relationship will break the law.Punishment is up to 10 years in prison, it adds.“Only a marriage contract between a man and a woman shall be recognised as valid in Nigeria,” the law states.

Nigeria is a highly religious society, with its 170 million people roughly divided in half between Christians and Muslims, though a significant number are also believed to follow traditional religions.The anti-gay law follows similar legislation in Uganda that was condemned by US President Barack Obama as “odious

Controversy rocks Abak-5 Gen Assembly over The Nation Newspaper Advert – As signatories distance selves, allege forgery • They are talking nonsense – Info Commissioner

13 Jan

   *Aniekan Umana is a forgery kingpin, a liar.

Written by  Aniefiok MACAULEY.

Controversy rocks Abak-5 General Assembly over The Nation Newspaper advertorial  -	As signatories distance selves, allege forgery •	They are talking nonsense – Info Commissioner

At least two persons purported  to have written their names or signatures to the advertorial by a faction of Abak-5 General Assembly placed on The Nation’s newspaper of December 26 2013 conceding the 2015 Ikot Ekpene senatorial seat to Governor Godswill Akpabio have alleged


fraudulent usage of their names and signatures on the document.

Those who reacted while speaking with The Radar denied knowledge of the publication, saying that they were never contacted and neither did they append their names/signatures nor authorised anyone to use such in any document in that regard.

Speaking with The Radar on telephone, Atuekong Wilson Inyang whose name had appeared on the publication denied ever signing or authorising anyone in his behalf to either write his name or append his signature on a document he knew nothing about.

Asked to state his position on the ongoing debate on the zoning of the senatorial seat of Akwa Ibom North West senatorial district in which the governor is interested in, Inyang maintained that he is a firm believer in justice and on the side of the people that Abak-5 should be allowed to produce the next senator in 2015.

On his part, another politician whose name also appeared on the list of signatories in the publication, Obong Edem Obot expressed dismay over the unauthorised use of his name on the document. He said that he had taken the issue up with the masterminds of the publication and has decided to allow it lie low, after extracting apologies from them.

Corroborating the positions of the duo in a interview, the former Deputy Speaker of the State House of Assembly, Hon. Uwem Udoma alleged that the signatories and names on the advertorial were either forged from the list of meeting attendance with Governor on November 21, 2013, at the lodge in Uyo, adding that some of the signatories informed him (Udoma) that a sitting commissioner paid them N200, 000 each to append their names and signatures on the said document.

According to him “It is their deceitful nature. If you look at those signatures, Obong Edem Obot did not append his signature on that document. I spoke with him and Atuekong Wilson Inyang from Ika Local Government Area did not also sign the document.”

Speaking further he disclosed “The said publication was doctored by a sitting commissioner in Akwa Ibom State Government and N200, 000 was paid to each signatory in that document. It is an open secret. They are used to using attendance register to release communiqués in the past and they are still doing it.”

Meanwhile, the Commissioner for Information, Mr. Aniekan Umanah when contacted for comment, said “I personally read the advertorial and signed it but I don’t know of others. Those who said their names or signatures were forged are talking nonsense.

“The Ikot Ekpene Senatorial District Assembly has endorsed the governor for senate, the Abak federal constituency has also endorsed the governor for the senate and there is no going back on that decision. In 2015, we are sure the governor will be in the Red Chambers as a senator representing the senatorial district

Aniekan Umanah, Akwa Ibom State Commissioner for Information

Aniekan Umanah, Akwa Ibom State Commissioner for Information

Do Not Be Used: An Open Letter To The Youth Of Akwa Ibom State

10 Jan

By Clayton Udoh

I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.”

― Thomas Jefferson 
Nigerian MapAkwa Ibom State Map
Yes the quote above was pondered by the great Thomas Jefferson. As a founding Father of the USA, author of the Declaration Of Independence ,Third President of the USA and a generational leader of The Enlightenment. This extraordinary man saw the enslavement and the anti-progressive results of the norm being made as the Modus Operandi of the society .

Hence he proscribed that rebellion was needed to breakaway from the asinine, primitive Neanderthal elements of the system and their ideologies. We are not talking about childish riots on the streets. We are talking about a general rejection mentally of the shoddy treatment of your person

The Neanderthal element, coated in buffoonery, is led by one and one instinct alone. The instinct at survival. Nevertheless the superiority of man is based on man being able to rise above the animalistic selfish will to survive alone. Based on this fact the only truly thinking organism is man . 

However we see the first signs of a battle in which enormous pressure is being brought to bear, to ensure that the norm, is a manifestation of buffoonery, devoid of thinking.  

So therefore let the Youth of Akwa Abasi Ibom State, refrain from the mechanizations of evil that will be perpetuated by the political class. As the election cycle approaches let every youth be a beacon of light in the land. Do not be “used”.
Money will be offered to you to kill your fellow man. Tell the politician to go and do it himself. 
Honestly, why does he tell you to go and do it? For the sake of the party? Those who killed for parties that existed in the past where are those parties now ?

You will be asked to go and burn bridges on a massive scale. Go into the forums and shoot wildly with the stupid belief that ” I am now taking center stage”. You will be asked to insult people on the internet and perpetuate false stories. You will be commended for making fake email identities.
Why don’t you let Godswill Akpabio, Larry Esin,Umana Okon Umana and all the other men that will come forward on the premise that they are Akwa Ibom’s solution to do their own dirty work ? 
The fact of the matter is simple ;The Peasants will always be controlled by the Masters.

Observe carefully; none of the present day political aspirants will be involved personally in insulting people in the forums or fake vendettas against Diaspora or assassinations or fake email identities, blackmail and all the other things that will begin as we get closer and closer to the election cycle. However a lot of you will be asked to rather go and do this. The million dollar question is ; Why do they never ever do the dirty work but relegate it to you?  The simple answer is that there is spiritual implications to all that you do and the rich and mighty know this secret.

Another secret that the high and mighty know, that the poor and desperate are unaware of is the “Power of Intent”. 

For example ,an individual could be very good in running around with the Ballot box in the bush with a gun in his hand killing everybody that gets in his way. If a situation arises that names are submitted for future Commissioners or Senior Executive officers ,such a character’s name will never be included in such a list. On the other hand ,will his name be referred to as a hired help for chaos ? Absolutely. 

 The woman who stands every night somewhere waiting for men to pick her and go and ram her in a hotel room will not be recommended for Ambassadorship of a country. Her intent determines the path her life will go.
The secret is simple; our intent determines our destiny.

So for those who go around killing people and kidnapping people and  imposing on their own future generations the blood of innocent people ,some of them have been deceived to the point that, what they were paid for,could not buy them a plot of land in Shelter Afrique or Asong Ama. Nor could they come out into the public domain as a PA or SSA.
You would think that people are smart but common sense is not that common. You went into politics to improve your life only to be asked to swear on Mbiam. Meanwhile the political aspirant who made you swear on it will not swear on anything (He used Akamba owo level to push you into fire). In your little mind you conclude that as long as I keep my promise to return Abak to the Governorship aspirant I will not be affected by the Mbiam.
Mbiam is simply a demon brought in to oversee a contract between you and a governorship aspirant that will forget you once he wins the elections.However based on your intent you have brought something into your family that will never go away.

You have guys in the forums, Praise singing and licking people’s shoes; greatest I have seen for them is PA. Maybe if you licked the person’s shoes and armpits till it was real clean and shiny you could get SSA. Intent is everything .

For all the big positions like Commissioners and above, prospective candidates are not in the forums .In fact they have not even come into the forums to wish somebody Happy Birthday which is a legitimate act of friendship !!!!! Like they say ,” Everything get level” !

Youth of Akwa Ibom State do not get used. There are people I know personally that have built both residential and commercial property in all the prime real estate locations in Uyo and abroad. For the eight years of Godswill Akpabio’s administration they have made a real fortune without killing, kidnapping or  insulting nobody or making a fake email address or burning bridges with Diaspora or praise singing or spouting tribalism or doing the reckless things that we see right now.

Wisdom is needed now more than ever. You will go and join Udo Tommy’s International Facebook friends for Umana Okon Umana. I will still be here to hear that on the day of your association’s payoff you could not find your key officers to get a penny! Afterall the money was not enough for everybody!

Stop repeating the practices/mistakes that happens to the youth in every election cycle. You guys will flock to the so called “Party elders” and “Political Aspirants”, You will get the same answer that has been given in every election cycle,”There is no money”. Some of you will congregate in people’s compounds and residences and stand at the gates staring in.  In the end you will get nothing out of it. They will divide the millions among themselves ,then the winners will also receive their stabilization fees for winning .Then they will also begin getting the contracts in line for kickbacks to loot their way to glory. Nobody will remember you.So be wise and do not get used this time.

Better still you will be told that before you get a penny ,go and attack so and so or go and betray him/her. Swear on something ,kill somebody, say things that when you finish speaking people start wondering if you are a human being or a goat. Just to get an amount of money that would finish if you did just six trips in a Keke Na Pep.

Let me not belabor the point .Youth of Akwa Abasi Ibom State.Do not get used this time.

Clayton “Bane” Udoh
Phoenix,AZ

A Rescue Mission That Made An Extra Impact (Picture News)

8 Jan

Sam Itauma and the rescued Nkoyo waiting for the reversing truck.

Sam Itauma and the rescued Nkoyo waiting for the reversing truck.  

By Bassey Esang

Just about 45 minutes away from 10 pm, the phone rang with at least two missed calls.
CRARN Personnel: Hello, how may I help you? (…handing over the phone to Sam)
Volunteer: Is this CRARN office; I mean that group in Eket that takes care of ‘witch’ children?
Sam Itauma: O’ yes! Any problem? (returning back  the phone the personnel)
Volunteer: There are two children here close to that market that your men picked some children two days ago. Can you come and pick them before some human traffickers take them away?
CRARN Personnel: Of course! But can you keep them in a safe place so that we can come and pick them tomorrow?
Volunteer: I would love to do so, but my husband will not allow them inside the house. I will ask them to sleep in the veranda of my shop in the market with my blanket till you come tomorrow morning. But please, do not fail to come because one of them has a big machetes cut on head with blood still dripping. And as you can see, it is raining heavily and the weather is very cold.
CRARN Personnel: Can you, please, wrap the head with cloth to stop the blood from oozing out?
Volunteer: Ok, Sir. I will do so.

 .

Early in the morning, a CRARN rescue team led by Sam Itauma set off for Oron. It’s about 30 to 40 minutes’ drive from Eket. But it turned out to be one hour 20 minutes given the muddy road due to the rain and ongoing federal road construction. While driving to Oron, we spotted a five year old female child lying on the side of the road, just as we were entering Oron from Urue Offong Oruko Local Government.
She was in deep sleep the very morning gripped by the night rain cold. We thought she was already dead; as she didn’t respond to calls and light shakes to wake her up.
She wobbled as we raised her up. She said she has been walking for the past 5 days without food, and been on the street for some weeks sleeping under road construction tippers and forklifts.

Little Nkoyo sleeping by the side of the Oron East West Road.

Little Nkoyo sleeping by the side of the Oron East West Road.

Sam Itauma feeling and massaging Nkoyo's benumbed hand.

Sam Itauma feeling and massaging Nkoyo’s benumbed hand.

 In the truck, she grabbed the sachet water with bread like a ferocious lion, and did herself justice. She didn’t say anything, neither did she show any signs of apprehension as to where she was being taken to, even as we explained briefly to her who we were.
‘My name is Nkoyo.’ She managed to respond to one of the rescuers’ query.

In the CRARN Children Centre, about 15 children, rushed to the truck to welcome her; as she stepped out with a stunning smile.
“She will be my daughter,” ten years old Eno said.
“No! She is going to be mine. And I will take care of her. I am going to be her mother” 12 years old Ndifreke responded.
“But you have three daughters already, and I have only one.” Eno argued.
They continued their light-hearted argument as Nkoyo was taken to the caregivers office for documentation.
The stories of the two children which brought about Nkoyo’s rescue, will be posted  subsequently

Little Nkoyo sleeping by the side of the Oron East West Road

Little Nkoyo sleeping by the side of the Oron East West Road

Little Nkoyo lying in the cold weather.

Little Nkoyo lying in the cold weather.

Sam Itauma and the rescued Nkoyo waiting for the reversing truck.

Sam Itauma and the rescued Nkoyo waiting for the reversing truck.

Culled from Child’s Right and Rehabilitation Network (CRARN) site
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